It’s okay to cry sometimes
“Are you really thinking that it’s your fault,” Kurogane retorted.
The kiss already ended and Kurogane still holds Yuui to not fall into the water. He looked serious at Yuui before he lowered his head to examine the lake under his feet.
“It’s mine,” Yuui made known. His expression was sad and tears were running down his cheeks.
Kurogane sighed. The Kurogane of this world - himself of this world, were sleeping on the ground of this lake. Not only sleeping, he really was dead and Kurogane heard what happened back then. He guessed already that Yuui incur the guilt, but he doesn’t had a choice.
“Hng,” Kurogane muttered.
“It’s okay. I live with this for years, nothing will change. I just showed the past to you so you can understand me. It’s okay, mh?” Yuui grinned. He still wanted to hide all his pain.
Since Kurogane knew about Yuui beeing exactly like his Fai, he knew Yuui would lie to him.
“You loved your Kurogane and he loved you…with all of his heart. That’s too cheesy for me but I know what you showed me and I kinda felt his… feelings,” Kurogane admitted. “I don’t understand why he stayed with you even if he knew you would get weaker ‘tho, but it must be the same reason why I’m still caring about Fai…”
Kurogane still refuse to believe that he really is in love with Fai but his words were the opposite.
“Kurogane-,” Yuui stopped.
“It is okay to end the sexual part of our relationship, isn’t it?” Kurogane began. “I don’t care if you aren’t agree, but I want to hear it from you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore neither I want to hurt Fai.”
It was easier to talk to Yuui than to Fai since he already gave him an ultimatum. Kurogane doesn’t know if Fai will leave him or want to talk to him ‘tho. But he can’t gave Yuui what he deserves and doesn’t want to play feelings he won’t have.
“You’re unique, Kurogane,” Yuui jabbered. He knew Kurogane would see straight trough his smile, but he really has to try.
Kurogane doesn’t care about this sentimental bullshit, but he leaned to Yuui and kissed him softly again… for the last time.
Yuui was surprised but returned the kiss, knowing it was the last.
“I know,” Kurogane finally replied with a grin.
Yuui released Kurogane without thinking about his magic and Kurogane fell into the water.
“Oh,” Yuui blurted and put his hands on his mouth not to laugh while he was still standing on the lake’s surface.
“Yuui!,” Kurogane barked loudly when he came back to the surface. He swam to the shore immediately to climb out of the cold water. He was soaking wet and he definitely wasn’t amused about this forced bath.
“Haha~ Sorry, Kuro-wanwan,” Yuui started to laugh before he joined him on the lakeside.
“Very funny,” Kurogane raged. His hair got caught in his face and the clothes were stick on his body.
He actually wanted to talk about Yuui not beeing at fault for Kurogane’s dead but this Kurogane had the feeling that it wasn’t necessary anymore. Yuui laughed again and it wasn’t a fake. That was the only reason why Kurogane didn’t yelled at him again. Yuui should understand that his decision was right and that he still could cry if he want to cry.
“Well,” Kurogane continued, “you can cry anytime. May it’s better if you do it now, because I’ll leave soon,” he offered with a slightly cough.
He wanted to leave but this was very important for Yuui. It seems like he hadn’t cried for years, but knowing Fai for so long Kurogane knew it made it easier sometimes.
Yuui stopped to laugh, stared in Kurogane’s eyes and even when he wanted to say it was okay, he doesn’t need to cry anymore… he came closer, just put his head on Kurogane’s shoulder and started sobbing before he really cried.
You may could hear Yuui through the forest when he cried about his loneliness, the pain not even Ashura understood and the feeling he had when Kurogane and Fai appeared in this world. He already wanted to cry when he saw this Kurogane for the first time but instead of crying he tried to fall in love with him when he saw Fai ignoring and hurting Kurogane. He nearly fell in love with him but still knew about the black haired man’s true feelings.
Yuui never talked about his feelings and how much he indeed loved his Kurogane. He thought Kurogane could be revived one day … that’s why he came often to his grave and used his magic. Yuui wanted him to feel that he was still waiting for him.
It was kinda naive to believe such things and deep inside his heart he knew it was impossible but it was the only way to accept his destiny.
“It must be hard beeing nearly immortal. You will lose your beloved one soon or later when he’s human but you still need to go on.”
Kurogane softly tapped on Yuui’s back. He wasn’t good in comforting someone.
“I’m certain that Fai thinks the same. He already lost everyone he loved in his past… I suppose. It’s too much I don’t understand about him but it must be a reason why he pretends to hate me. The truth is…,” Kurogane stopped and pushed Yuui a bit from himself.
“The truth is… I can feel something different when he bites me to get some blood. I can’t say what it is, but Fai bears a lot of painful things too.”
“I… I know,” Yuui sobbed.
“Mn.”
“I mean I know about your connection and I truly wanted to comfort you… and myself, but Fai is the only one for you.”
Yuui wiped his tears away and smiled again. It was good to talk about what happened and that he isn’t alone … he never was alone. He has a lot of friends and even the king was a good friend. Yuui just depended on his past and thought he would never find someone like Kurogane again.
“Thank you,” he said.
He wouldn’t believe it but crying out his feelings helped a lot and he felt better right now.
“Fine,” Kurogane acknowledged and stroke through his wet hair. He should change into dry clothes soon.
“Let’s go. You need new clothing,” Yuui said while pushing Kurogane forward.
“Oi,” Kurogane complained.
They were going out of the forest and Kurogane could feel that Yuui was in a better mood.
“It’s okay to open up for a new relationship even if it’s not you, Kuro-sama,” Yuui smirked. He walked beside Kurogane. He had his hands behind his back and it looked more like he was dancing and he was in a very good mood to be honest.
“So? Do you have someone in your mind?”
“Nope~ do you have a brother by the way?”
“Nah.”
“Too bad! But I’m popular in the city!”
“You’re joking.”
“Why should I?”
“I thought there was no one near you.”
“There isn’t. I kept them on distance~ You were the first one closer to me.”
“What?! I thought you had sex with others already?!”
“That was a lie of course.”
“Huh?” Kurogane stopped and was glaring at Yuui.
They were drunken when they had sex for the first time but Kurogane thought Yuui was just like… this. Having sex with strangers, but it was a lie and Yuui only had Sex with him?
“Don’t be mad~ it wasn’t my first time, but … my first time after my beloved one died,” Yuui apologized.
Kurogane sighed again. He shook his head but couldn’t be mad on him. He just felt a bit pranked but he should have already known.
“It’s okay, I guess. It’s over and I need to take care of other things,” Kurogane decided. Fai was more important now.
“I can talk to him, if you want,” Yuui offered.
“It’s the best when you don’t come closer to him. I’m pretty sure he will lie to you and- it’s senseless to explain you to you,” he shrugged.
“Eh?”
“Never mind. I’ll talk to him.”
Yuui nodded and smiled at Kurogane. He wouldn’t interfere when he doesn’t want it but he supposed it wouldn’t be easy to talk to Fai. Even Kurogane wasn’t sure about what he should talk about with Fai. He won’t make a confession and can’t deny the sex with Yuui, but he also can’t let him go.
