Goodbye
Something just felt so awkwardly wrong.
When he an Neku left the door,
it felt awkwardly wrong.
In the beginning he just thought it was the argument he was having with Neku again,
but he felt so… helpless…
Was it that Neku won’t stop shouting at him, or maybe…
Joshua found himself sighing, ‘cause he ran out of arguments.
Why did they actually start arguing again?
He couldn’t even remember where that all began, but he could clearly see where it was getting at.
He sighed again, then took a look at Nekus irritated face…
Wait…
Where there tears in his eyes?
The silver-haired blinked.
Once,
Twice,
A third time.
Definitely tears…
Neku turned his mp3-player on and took the headphones on, turning them the loudest he could, so he was neither able nor forced to hear what Joshua said.
Instead there where just those words….
You are one of God's mistakes,
You crying, tragic waste of skin,
I'm well aware of how it aches ,
And you still won't let me in.
Now I'm breaking down your door,
To try and save your swollen face ,
Though I don't like you anymore,
You lying, trying waste of space..
My oh my
Joshua came to think about the start of this all again…
Has it again been about…?
Oh yes, it has…
Joshua is sometimes not willing to open up to anyone. Not even to Neku.
It’s been about that again.
Every time Joshua closes himself up to the orange haired, Neku thinks the bigger wouldn’t trust him enough
And Trust was so important for such a relationship, Neku repeated all the time.
A song to say goodbye,
A song to say goodbye ,
A song to say...
Before our innocence was lost,
You were always one of those ,
Blessed with lucky sevens ,
And the voice that made me cry .
My Oh My.
Neku could feel the tears running down his cheeks.
They where fighting again, again those senseless arguments, but why was Joshua closing himself up to him?
Neku couldn’t understand.
And he also couldn’t understand why he felt so weird while listening to the words “a song to say Goodbye”
A shudder ran down his shoulders, when the song went on.
You were mother nature's son ,
Someone to whom I could relate ,
Your needle and your damage done,
Remains a sordid twist of fate.
That’s right…
Joshua’s always been someone special, maybe the first one… who ever understood him and his irritating originalities.
But sometimes he felt, as if Joshua would’ve changed 180 degrees from one second to another;
but the next second, he’s totally himself again.
With that smile and his special way to handle things, trying to hide his fragility.
Now I'm trying to wake you up ,
To pull you from the liquid sky ,
But sometimes, he was the one who needed to be saved.
When the smile was just a mask to hide his broken soul, but every time Neku tried to help him, Joshua refused to it.
‘ I need no help, Neku. I can handle that alone.’
Than he smiled…
Coz if I don't we'll both end up ,
With just your song to say goodbye.
My Oh My.
A song to say goodbye,
A song to say goodbye ,
A song to say...
Again this weird feeling…
What was wrong with these words that they always gave him a shudder?
Just as if there was something…
about to happen.
They walked through the streets, Joshua several meters behind Neku whose eyes hung on the floor.
The silver-haired watched him, worrying about the things he has said.
He was proud of none of them and wanted to apologize so badly, but Neku surely wouldn’t be wanting to listen…
The Phones showed it clearly.
So he held his tongue and simply walked on.
Joshua could see the street which crossed the way to the city.
He passed it by everyday when he went this way, but today he felt weird while watching it.
Somehow he felt a little…dizzy and irritated.
He kinda felt that they shouldn’t walk on…
“Neku…?”
He asked silently; of course, Neku couldn’t hear him.
Joshua was now about 10 meters behind Neku, so he talked a little louder: “Neku?”
Still no reaction…
He blinked.
He surely couldn’t hear him because of the headphones.
They where strictly walking on, the street was getting closer and closer.
“Neku?!”
The orange-haired had now almost reached the street, and still showed no reaction.
Joshua walked a little faster when he noticed a car, which seemed to come out of nowhere, in such a speed he found himself gasping slightly.
Neku was now about to cross the street, couldn’t he see that car?!
No…his gaze was still hung on the floor and his headphones maximum volume.
Joshua started to run desperately, feeling his eyes filling with tears.
“NEKU!!!”
The shorter one now took his steps on the street, not noticing the traffic light turning red, telling him to stop walking.
He just walked on apathetic as if he had no soul.
When Joshua could finally rech him, he stood in the middle of the street, that car driving onto him with ful speed, not seeming to see him.
Before our innocence was lost,
You were always one of those,
Blessed with lucky sevens,
Joshua wanted to grab his arm to pull him back, but he slid off and so it was just a gentle touch.
“NEKU!”
Neku felt it and turned around, his eyes still filed with tears.
And for the very last time... their gazes met, while the brakes squeaked noisy.
And the voice that made me cry.
The following moments went to fast to realize, but to slow to avoid looking.
Joshua still couldn’t understand what just happened.
But he knew, that he has just been forced to watch the most precious person in his entire life
dying
and to look at his lifeless body lying on the street covered all over with blood.
“NEKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!”
It's a Song to say Goodbye.
