Five Things

that never happened to Sha Gojyo

Five things that never happened to
 

Sha Gojyo
 

I

Apart from that one time – and that really couldn’t count, Hakkai had had half his digestive system hanging out back then – Sha Gojyo never carried a man to Gojyo’s bed.
 

No matter how much booze circled his system, Hakkai got in on his own perfectly well, no help needed.
 

II

Sha Gojyo was never held by his mother. It was okay, though, because Jien was there to hold him in his arms, to make it all better and kiss the little pains away.
 

III

Sha Gojyo was never kissed by Goku. Nu-huh, totally didn’t happen that the little brat jumped him and pressed his lips on Gojyo’s startled form. And Gojyo didn’t stare into the fire with a dumb look while Goku demanded from Sanzo the promised Manju. He totally didn’t listen as Sanzo grumbled that sarcasm was lost on those idiots and Hakkai gently explained that Sanzo had meant that in a rhetorical way, like “when pigs fly”, at which Goku whined that he’d make the damn pigs fly because he really wanted that Manju.
 

Because. That. So. Never. Happened.
 

IV

Gojyo also never snuck out at nights with Hakkai to meet up with Dokugakuji and Yaone to drink and laugh and play cards (well, watch Hakkai win). Because they were enemies and enemies don’t do that, and they most definitely never threw longing glances at the other two.
 

V

And then, Sha Gojyo never met Kanan or her ghost or anything. That was very good, because he’d tell her quite a bit about killing herself right before Hakkai’s eyes, the bitch.
 

Not so much because of the half demon child in her womb and much more because of how much it had hurt Hakkai.