One thing is to play in lotteries. The chances to win are small, but hey, it's your choice. It's something else entirely to broadcast it on national television. But that's not what this is about.

It's about how the people hosting these shows feel an intense need to announce, after picking only two numbers, "We have now picked two out of twenty numbers!" Hello? Anyone can see that. And if you're blind, that doesn't mean you can't count. If they said this after ten numbers, or something, that would be something else. But two? What's the point?

I just felt that I had to say this ^^ Of course, I don't like the whole Keno stuff (it's a lottery  game with weird rules here in Norway), so I'm biased :P Still, it's not exactly necessary to do it like this.

"Make it harder than it has to be, and do things the weirdest possible way." Yeah, right.

He has red hair, and green eyes. He's kind of playful, smart, and he has a sense of humour. And charisma. Loads of it. And, of course, he's not even remotely human. (Too perfect xD)

Who am I talking about? He's a kitten!^^ ...or rather, young cat. He came by our house a short while ago, and there he sat, on our doorstep, not moving away no matter what. Then, as my brother and I fetched some yarn and played with him, it wasn't easy to let him go. We didn't have to either.

As time passed, he started following my brother around, and even snuck into the house, hiding under my bed ^^ Eventually, it started to get dark, and he still refused to go. It was about then he went into the kitchen, looking with the puppy...no, kitty eyes at us. He must have been hungry, he hadn't been eating all day. So, we found a box of tuna fish inside the fridge, and he got some food. And he's even cute eating!:)

The plan was to take him outside before he fell asleep, but that plan didn't work. I mean, he's still a kid, so perhaps it wasn't so strange that he jumped into a chair and fell asleep pretty fast. And who can throw out any cat who is that cute? He wake up later, exploring our living room, and playing with the antennas of my brother's cars. I panicked for a while when he was nowhere to be seen, but he had only snuck out on the terrace when my father opened the door.

Anyway, he stayed over the night, but when we let him out in the morning, he didn't come back ;_; That's probably just as well, he must have a family somewhere, because he was well raised, and behaved really well. So, I hope he's gotten back to his family. They must love him a lot. No one can not love someone like that! I both hope and not hope that I'll see him again. Love you kittie ;)

Also known as: Velineyvra's complaints about current state of family life.

Is it even possible? To never put your work down, and constantly taking on more, even things you're not paid for? Well, obviously it is. When someone you live with work so much that you only see him... I don't know... an hour a day, average, sooner or later, there'll be a point where you can't handle it any more.

As for said family member, he can't handle it, he's getting burnt out, tired, and I have to live with a constant fear that he'll get a heart attack. He. Needs. A. New. Job. Or someone needs to kick him and the people he works with in the butt, and tell him that there's someone at home who wants to spend time with you, and you have two years before she leaves.

I can't believe I actually belived him when he said he'd work less when he changed jobs. He doesn't. I don't think he works more, but it's certainly not less. Maybe he's not capable of cutting down.

What did you say? We need money? Well, then tell him to stop doing what he isn't paid for. If some of his colleagues suffer, so be it. I want to have him here, and I don't want him dead. But what can I do? I don't think I can convince him, so I'll just be angry. When he skips dinner, when I don't see him the entire day, when neither of us has time to talk with the other.

How does it sound like when he laughs? What would he do, if he didn't work? I'm not entirely sure anymore.

So what's the point with all this? Just to write down some thoughts. Just to, if he ever sees this profile, tell him how I feel about this. Because I don't have the courage to tell it to him myself.

Perfectionism. Always aiming for the best possible. Never really being comfortable with the second best. Always trying to get better. Yeah, I know a lot about this. In most things, especially school-related, I’m not pleased until it’s impossible to do it any better. I might get top grades, but silly mistakes can still bother me.

On the positive side, hopefully it’ll give me results, eventually. But never being pleased unless it’s perfect? That is not a good thing. If it is, then I’m the Queen of England. (I felt this text needed an expression like this.)

And now on to the reason why I started writing this in the first place. I know people who get irritated because I’m thinking this way. It’s almost as if they think there’s something wrong with me, and it’s all my fault. That also applies to all other perfectionists out there. You know what? I can’t do anything about it. It’s a part of me. And all others I have spoken to has said the same. Sure, it bothers me a bit sometimes. But I can’t do anything about it, for God’s sake.

If I’m despairing because I’ll probably lose my grade in maths, sure, I see why this can bother those who are struggling to get an acceptable grade, and not fail. But to me, that means losing something I’m proud of.

And in the middle of all this I’ve started to wonder why some are perfectionists and why some aren’t. Is there some universal rule that says: “You are a perfectionist, because…”? Heh. Somehow I doubt that.

And this has now officially turned into a pile of thoughts on a piece of....screen. The original point I had with this text is probably gone, and it might even be a good thing. Sometimes perfectionism is good. Sometimes it’s bad. But it’s still there. And it’s a characteristic, just like so many other things. The only thing that sets it apart from, say, brown eyes, (in my opinion) is that it affects people much more. Then, why should we consider it anything but a part of someone’s personality? I’ve seen a lot who definitely sees it as something else than that.

Random thoughts written while I should be doing something else. How on earth is it possible to be a perfectionist and procrastinate at the same time?

PS: While writing this, I suddenly realized I’ve made a stupid mistake on today’s English test. This is absolutely not going to end well. ^^'

How many people here speak English, anyway? Sure, the majority speak German because this is a German site, but still... The English forum, for instance... It's not exactly big. 

And the reason for this post is... well, there's no reason at all. I just wanted to complain a bit ;P It's just that it's really irritating not knowing what all the others say.. oh well. 

Of course, I understand that if German (or something else) is your native tongue, then you speak this language. I just wish that the English parts were bigger. 

*sprinkles water on the English site* Grow, little site, grow! 
Let the sunshine in...